Burnout: What It Really Is
In 2022, I burnt out.
Not with a dramatic crash. Not with one defining moment. It came slowly, quietly, almost invisibly.
I found myself shorter tempered in meetings. Snapping at colleagues over things that normally wouldn’t bother me. Driving home, I switched the radio off because even music felt like too much. At dinner, I was there with my family, but not really there.
Each moment was small. Easy to dismiss. I’m just tired. The project is demanding. Next month will be easier. That’s the trap — burnout doesn’t arrive all at once, it creeps in, drip by drip.
And the mind plays along. It hides what’s happening by finding ways to cope. For some people, that means drink, gambling, or scrolling late at night. For others, it’s more work — longer hours, more pressure, more emails. For me, it was withdrawal. Quietly stepping back from the very things that gave me energy.
The strange thing about the start of burnout is that it doesn’t feel like crisis. It feels like being just a little off. A fuse shorter than it used to be. A tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix. A dullness in things that once brought joy. A sense of running all the time but never arriving anywhere. And a quiet voice whispering, push through, you’ll be fine.
But you’re not fine. And it doesn’t fix itself.
I was lucky. I had an understanding family. An employer who gave me the time I needed. Specialist help that guided me through. Even so, it was a long road back — months of piecing myself together, relearning how to rest, how to reconnect, how to live without relying on constant performance to prove my worth.
There isn’t a silver bullet. What works for one person may not work for another. For some it’s sport. For others meditation or yoga. For others still, time with friends. For me, it was adventure. Time in nature. Simplicity. Being with my kids.
Books, podcasts and honest conversations helped. Talking to people who understood what burnout feels like helped more. That could be a mentor, a friend, a coach — anyone who can help you see things differently when you’re too far inside it yourself.
And I’m guessing many of you reading this will recognise some of what I’ve described. Does that mean you’re burnt out? Maybe. Maybe not. But even if it’s just the beginning, or just stress, or simply the sense of being a little off — you don’t have to wait until it gets worse.
You can make changes now. You can improve your life. You can feel more alive.
If you’re not sure where to start, sometimes the most powerful step is simply talking it through. A conversation can help you notice patterns you’ve been ignoring, reflect on what’s really going on, and decide on your next step. That could be with a friend, a mentor, or if you’d like, with me. I offer short coaching sessions designed to help you reflect, reset, and start moving back towards the life you want.
Burnout isn’t weakness. It isn’t laziness. And it isn’t fake.
It’s real. It’s common. And it doesn’t always look like collapse. Sometimes it’s subtle. Irritation out of nowhere. Withdrawal from the people who matter most. A slow dulling of joy.
If that sounds familiar, don’t ignore it. Notice it. Talk about it. Take a step — however small — before the drip becomes a flood.